Some actors must never sing. So why have actually so many kind of recorded albums that make us snicker, giggle or just wonder what were they thinking?

Who"s that fresh brand-new female voice on the radio crooning Cruisin", the sulattempt hit made famous by Smocrucial Robinson? Why, it"s Hollyhardwood actor Gwyneth Paltrow.

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Huh?

Paltrow, check out, stars in the recently released Duets, a flick about karaoke singers. The movie"s soundtrack functions three cuts by Paltrow that have actually made their means to radio. (She does a pretty great Bette Davis Eyes!)

The movie also stars Huey Lewis, that, you recall, was when a huge rock star. Happily, like Paltrow, Lewis is able to successfully jump genres. In various other words, he"s not the worst actor in the world. Sometimes stars can pull this off. Even Sebastian Bach, former lead singer of Sboy Row, is obtaining mediocre reviews appropriate currently as the star of Jekyll & Hyde on Broadway.


But more often than not, we find our favorite acting stars should stick to their day tasks. This is a lot of apparent when, via arrogance or boredom or sheer idiocy, Hollytimber folks put out vanity albums. Respeak to Bruce Willis" abysmal The Rerevolve Of Bruno? Some would cite John Tesh for all his frilly world-beat piano music.

And poor Keanu Reeves, who is no Laurence Olivier on the display screen, proves to be an even worse musician with his alt-rock band also Dogstar. (Let"s just say Reeves" bass playing is worse than that of Sex Pistol Sid Vicious. Heck, Reeves makes Vicious look prefer Charlie Mingus.)

Tright here are various other crummy albums out there by quirky actor Crispin Glover (that records under the name Crispin Hellion Glover), Fernancarry out Lamas, John Travolta, television"s Roseanne, Munster mom Yvonne DeCarlo, Don Johnkid and also the Beverly Hillbillies" Buddy Ebsen (No, Uncle Jed, no!).

Family Ties fans, rejoice! Little Tina Yothers, who made such an affect as snotty bit sister Jennifer, is releasing her rock band Jaded"s debut album any day currently.

Perhaps the many famed celebrity vanity document is William Shatner"s The Transdeveloped Man (1970). If you think Shatner was pompous on Star Trek, you gotta hear this. Capt. Kirk taped a "idea album" of his over-the-peak dramatic readings set to bombastic music. He reads from Cyrano over Bob Dylan"s Mr. Tambourine Man. But it"s his variation of Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds that makes listeners cringe.


You have the right to learn all about these documents and more by perutilizing Hollytimber Hi-Fi: Over 100 of the Many Outrageous Celebrity Records Ever, by George Gimarc and also Pat Reeder. (The book, publiburned by St. Martin"s, is out of print.)

Here are a couple of doozies tape-recorded by some of Tinseltown"s most, um, ambitious singing sensations:

+ Leonard Nimoy: Not to be outdone by Shatner, Dr. Spock likewise made a series of horrendous albums, including The Way I Feel (1968), which attributes the world"s grooviest Vulhave the right to singing folk songs such as If I Had Hammer. Dig the cover photo of Nimoy in turtleneck and necklace.

+ Sylvester Stallone: This guy is a walking vanity project, so it comes as no surprise he recorded Paradise Alley, the soundtrack to the movie he composed and also additionally starred in. Stallone "sings" the theme song. Well, it"s either Stallone or a moose.


+ Telly Savalas: Savalas, TV"s Kojak, beats Sinead O"Connor for First Bald-Headed Singing Sensation. His album Telly was his initially, and also its honesty is admirable: "Singing is not my bag," Savalas declares on the cover. That doesn"t sheight him from providing bizarre, pancake-level renditions of You"ve Lost That Loving Feeling and also the Beatles" Something.

+ Tony Perkins: Psycho"s Perkins released 3 solo albums, including the light, jazzy From My Heart (1958), featuring his distinctive crooning. He sounds like a less capable Mel Torme, heavily sedated.


+ Jim Nabors: Television star Nabors actually has a lovely singing voice; he videotaped more than 30 basic listening albums, yet Shazam! Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C. is Nabors in dimwitted Pyle persona. That indicates fans get twangy nation tunes and "fun" Roger Miller-penned songs such as You Can"t Roller-Skate in a Buffalo Herd.

+ Mae West: In 1972, Hollyhardwood legend Mae West, known for her morals-corrupting display screen visibility in the 1930s, videotaped a batch of saucy tunes such as Great Balls of Fire and Light My Fire. Risque? Sexy? Come on, she was 79 years old!

+ Burt Reynolds: Reynolds"s singing appears on numerous documents and also soundtracks, and all of it is lousy. His is a flat, throaty whisper that is supposed to sound sensitive but rather comes off as if he has actually a cold.

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+ Sebastian Cabot: Family Affair"s Mr. French rivals Shatner in sheer pretentiousness through Sebastian Cabot, Actor . . . Bob Dylan, Poet (1967), in which Cabot acts out the lyrics of Dylan in an over-the-peak fashion that renders him sound favor the Jon Lovitz Master Thespian character on Saturday Night Live. Imagine hearing Cabot doing hoessential accents for each Dylan character _ a Brooklyn thug, an Irishguy. More funny is hearing him priggishly making use of the word "ain"t" on It Ain"t Me Babe.