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script Saison 8 illustration 7
Titre united state : The One v The Stain Titre FR : Celui qui voulait garder RachelÉcrit par R. Lee Fleming, Jr.

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Réalisé par Kevin S. BrightTranscrit par Eric Aasen et Kenny Traduit par Christophe DelattreFiche détaillée et image - Titres Saison 8 - Résumé de l"épisode - manuscript en français
manuscript V.O.

Monica: Hey.

Chandler: Hey.

(Monica notices something.)

Monica: oh my God! friend cleaned! (Gasps) look at at these floors! friend did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you because that months and also you did! you cleaned! and nagging works!

Chandler: Y’know uh, i didn’t actually execute this.

Monica: five no, was ns cleaning in mine sleep again?

Chandler: No, the wasn’t you.

Monica: well then who?

Chandler: I got a maid. Yay!

Monica: (shocked) ns hope by maid you typical mistress, since if some various other woman was here cleaning then…

Chandler: Uh honey, I know you don’t choose to relinquish control…

Monica: Oh, relinquish is just a fancy word for lose!

Chandler: Look, she’s yes, really nice. Okay? and also she mentioned that she adored the means that you arranged the sponges.

Monica: go she yes, really say that?

Chandler: Yes, ns distinctly mental ‘cause I thought it was a joke. Currently just offer her a chance, okay?

Monica: Fine, I can do it. (Gets anxious.) Whew.

Chandler: What’s the matter?

Monica: Well, usually once I’m this anxious, i clean!

Opening Credits

Phoebe: (looking around) Who’s mobile is that? It’s just so annoying; anywhere you go.

Ross: i think it’s comes from her bag.

Phoebe: (checks) ns never get calls!! (Answers the phone) Hello?

Eric: Hi, it’s Eric. Native the Halloween party, Ursula’s fiancée.

Phoebe: five my God Eric hi! Wait, how’d you get this number?

Eric: Oh, I have a girlfriend who’s a cop and he obtained it because that me.

Phoebe: Wow! What an tremendous violation—and wonderful surprise.

Eric: Uh listen, ns just—I thought you should understand I damaged up v Ursula.

Phoebe: five you did? (To Rachel) that did it! that did it!

Rachel: Wow! What did he do?

Phoebe: Shhh! I’m talking.

Eric: Anyway, ns was wonder if, you were the type of human who…eats lunch.

Phoebe: room you asking me out? ‘Cause it would certainly be kinda weird due to the fact that you just broke up through my sister.

Eric: yeah uh…okay. I’m-I’m sorry. Bye.

Phoebe: No! Wait! i was just saying the so you’d think ns was a great person. Fight because that me.

Eric: Uhh, ns won’t take no because that an answer.

Phoebe: no great, yet we can work top top it in ~ lunch. Okay, I deserve to be at your apartment in 2 hours.

Eric: Great! yet wh-wh—How carry out you know where i live?

Phoebe: I’ve gained friends too. Okay, bye.

Eric: Bye.

(She hangs up.)

Phoebe: oh my God! I’m walk out through Eric! Ooh, now is really gonna it is in so much better than I assumed it to be gonna be. Five Ross, i can’t do lunch. (Exits.)

Ross: So supposedly I’m easily accessible for lunch.

Rachel: ns can’t. I’m busy. I’m apartment hunting.

Ross: You’re moving?

Rachel: Yeah, i can’t live v Joey once the infant comes. I don’t want my child’s very first words come be, (in a baby’s voice) "How you doin’?"

Ross: so does-does Joey understand you’re moving?

Rachel: Well, i haven’t questioned it v him yet, but I understand he’s gonna it is in relieved. Last week, he lugged this girl over and I began talking come her about morning sickness and also then I confirmed her photos from my pregnant book.

Ross: That’s not really porn.

Rachel: not so much.

Ross: Hey, y’know what and if you’re trying to find a place? I simply heard in the elevator this morning the a mrs in my building died.

Rachel: five my God! to be she old? go she have a view?

Ross: Well i don’t know, yet how-how good would that be huh? You life in mine building. Ns could assist take care of the baby. I can come over whenever i want. (Rachel looks at him.) through your permission.

Rachel: yes that would certainly really be great.

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Well have the right to we check out it?! Oh possibly we shouldn’t. I typical if she just passed away this morning the end of respect.

Ross: Yeah. No. No you’re right.

(Pause as they both take one more sip the coffee.)

Rachel: chandelier we?

Ross: Yeah.

(They both exit.)

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: Yes?

Ross: Hi. I’m Ross Geller. Ns live in the building.

Rachel: and also I’m Rachel, one admirer of the building.

Ross: I-I heard about Mrs. Verhoeven happen away and also I’m so sorry for your loss.

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: She didn’t pass.

Ross: What?

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: my mother’s tho alive.

Ross: Oh, thank God!

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: it looked like we were gonna shed her this morning, however she’s a challenging old bird.

Rachel: Ahh.

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: room you close with her?

Ross: the course! Uh yeah, she and I would talk all the moment in-in (Rachel pokes her head in and starts to look around) the laundry room. (Pushes Rachel the end of the way.)

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: friend speak Dutch? (In Dutch) Zeer vereerd een vriend valve mijn moeder dare ontmoeten. (Translation: I’m an extremely honored to meet a girlfriend of my mother.)

Ross: Y’know I would it’s simply painful.

Rachel: for this reason she’s really not dead.

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: No, she’s hanging in there.

Rachel: Hmm. Carry out you think—Could you tell me if she’s hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?

Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this brick cleaner is incredible! Where’d you obtain it?

Monica: five well umm, i make the myself! It’s two components ammonia and also one part lemon juice. And now the mystery ingredient is…y’know what? we just met.

Brenda: Okay. Uhh, I’m gonna go acquire the apparel from the laundry room now. And, when I come ago I’ll clean behind the refrigerator.

Monica: (To Chandler) ns love her.

Brenda: I’ll be back in a minute.

Monica: Okay. (As Brenda exit Monica notices something.)

Chandler: See? ns told you.

Monica: She stole my jeans!

Chandler: (pause) What?

Monica: I have been in search of them every week and she is put on them!

Chandler: therefore she stole her pants and then she came ago and wore castle in former of you?

Monica: Don’t girlfriend see? It’s the perfect crime!

Chandler: She must’ve to be planning this because that years!

Monica: I will prove it come you! Okay? about a week ago I was wearing those jeans and I to reduce a pen in my lap and it left an ink stain ~ above the crotch. Now when she comes back I will uncover it and show you that stain!

Chandler: Honey, isn’t it feasible that the agency that marketed the blue jeans made more than simply the one pair?

Monica: ns guess.

Chandler: So, shouldn’t we go provide her the advantage of the doubt prior to we go…snooping about her crotch?

Monica: Fine. I’m just glad ns didn’t give her my secret ingredient.

Chandler: out of curiosity, what is your an enig ingredient?

Monica: Yeah! (Laughs.)

Phoebe: Hi!

Eric: Come in, I’m so happy you’re here.

Phoebe: Yeah, me too. Not in the shaky angry method you space though.

Eric: Sorry, I simply saw Ursula. I had to provide the engagement ring back.

Phoebe: Oh.

Eric: just seeing her lugged it every back. All the lies, the means she used me. Ns just…I gained so angry just looking at her…(Looks at Phoebe)…face.

Phoebe: Yeah. (Covers her confront with her hand.) Yeah.

Eric: I’m sorry. I just…when i look at you I see her. As soon as I view her I acquire a tiny bit angry.

Phoebe: probably this is as well weird.

Eric: No wait! There’s just a trouble when i look in ~ you. (Sits under on the couch.) five I acquired it! I acquired it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)

Phoebe: No don’t tear the end your eyes!!

Eric: ns was just, i was just gonna take out my lenses.

Phoebe: Oh, yeah try that. (He finishes and looks in ~ her.) So, is the better?

Eric: no really. You…you’re blurry, yet you still look like Ursula. You’re Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe…If I-if I simply don’t look at you because that a while. (Stands up and turns his ago to her.) See? It…it works. I’m not, I’m not angry at every anymore! This is a good date!

Phoebe: watch Eric, revolve around. (He walk so.) Look, I prefer you, however it shouldn’t be this hard. Y’know? This is our an initial date y’know? very first dates are supposed to be about excitement and electricity and also ‘Ooh, he just touched mine hand, go he typical to touch mine hand?’ and also y’know an initial kisses and…(He kisses her)…second kisses. (Motions for him to kiss she again which that does and they begin to do out.)

Ross: thanks for the coffee, or bedankt voor de koffie, Gunter. (He converts that phrase into Dutch.)

Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? dat is dare gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: friend speak dutch That’s cool. Perform you have actually relatives there?)

Ross: Yeah, we’re done.

Gunther: Ezel. (Translation: Donkey)

Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it increase in his book.)

Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, carry out you want to go watch that new Imax movie on tide pools?

Ross: Really?!

Joey: (laughs) No. However I gained Knicks tickets for you, me, and Chandler.

Ross: Sweet!

Joey: all right, well end up your coffee; let’s go.

Ross: it s okay I-I just need to stop by my ar first.

Joey: to tape the game? You carry out this every time Ross, you’re not gonna be on TV!

Ross: No-no, I-I have to see if this apartment came to be available.

Joey: Oh, you’re switching apartments?

Ross: It’s not for me, it’s for Rachel.

Joey: yet Rachel has actually an apartment.

Ross: Yeah, yet when the baby comes she’s gonna want to move.

Joey: She is?

Ross: Yeah, friend didn’t intend her come live there v a infant did you?

Joey: ns guess i didn’t yes, really think around it.

Ross: (finds the word in the book) Ezel! (Reads the translation.) Hey Gunther! You’re one ezel!

Gunther: Jij hebt seks met ezels. (Translation: You have actually sex v donkeys.)

Ross: Damnit!

Monica: pretty jeans!

Brenda: five thanks! I prefer your top.

Monica: Oh. (Holds on to it.) (To herself) You’re not gettin’ it.

(Brenda bends under to use the dustpan and Monica leans over to look for the stain, however leans so far over she falls out that the chair.)

Brenda: What happened?!

Monica: Oh, I dropped asleep.

Brenda: ns was thinking about taking my having lunch break.

Monica: Oh, will you do the optimal of the cabinets? That’ll really occupational up her appetite for lunch.

Brenda: all right.

(Brenda pulls a chair to the counter and also uses it to get up ~ above the respond to in order come clean the top of the cabinets. Monica sneaks over, bends over, and tries to watch the stain. That doesn’t job-related so she sticks she head in between Brenda’s legs. Suddenly Brenda changes her stance and also traps Monica’s head in between her legs.)

Monica: Hello.

Brenda: What’s walking on?!

Monica: I’m sorry. I’ve never had actually a maid before, is this no okay?

Commercial Break

Rachel: Hey!

Joey: Hey!

Rachel: how was the game?

Joey: Oh, okay. I…I ate means too much.

Rachel: Oh.

Joey: Ooh. (Notices the pizza, take away a slice, and also takes a bite.) for this reason umm, ns was talkin’ to Ross and he said you were in search of a new place.

Rachel: oh yeah! Hopefully throughout the street if specific Dutch people would just let go.

Joey: i was kinda hoping you’d stay.

Rachel: Oh but Joey, I have to go. There’s no room because that a infant here.

Joey: No room? It’s a baby. It’s like this big. (Holds his hands around a foot apart.) Y’know, I median you-you can you can put it end here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we might put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, it’s cute, right? Or-or we can put it end here. (By the restroom door.) you wouldn’t even notification it. Where’s the baby? (Mumbles the it’s end in the corner.)

Rachel: Honey, it’s not just a matter of wherein you placed it. I median a baby changes everything. They cry every the time. I typical imagine bringing residence some girl and trying to score once there’s a screaming baby around.

Joey: I might use a challenge! It’s gaining pretty easy.

Rachel: Honey, it’s for this reason sweet the you want me to stay, however I-I can’t perform that come you. I average it would certainly disrupt your entire life.

Joey: ns love living v you so much. I just wish points didn’t have to change.

Rachel: i know.

Joey: Y’know ns blame Ross because that this.

Rachel: I carry out too a small bit.

Joey: I’m gonna miss you, you’re the sexy roommate I ever before had.

Phoebe: Ooh, five no! I need to go! I have a massage appointment.

Eric: oh no, stay right here we’ll save doing this. I’ll pay you.

Phoebe: No, I acquired in problem for that before. I’ll check out you later.

Eric: Absolutely. (They kiss and Phoebe heads for the door.) i love the method you kiss.

Phoebe: Really? That’s the point I’m worse at! You’ll see. (Exits.)

Chandler: (entering) Hi!

Monica: Hey! Umm, i think Brenda demands a raise.

Chandler: exactly how come?

Monica: because I placed my head between her legs.

Chandler: To see her pants?

Monica: They’re mine pants!

Chandler: room you sure? go you check out the stain?

Monica: No! i was just getting into position and then every little thing went dark.

Chandler: God! She is not stealing native us! Okay, will certainly you permit this go?

Monica: Fine. (Brenda comes in to use the bathroom and adjusts she pink bra strap ~ above the way.) She’s wearing mine bra!

Chandler: oh dear God!

Monica: mine pink flowered bra! I identify the strap!

Chandler: and also yet friend don’t recognize that you’re crazy.

Monica: Here’s the plan! Okay? I’m walking to leave you get a look at Brenda’s bra!

Chandler: Here’s another plan…No!

Monica: i would carry out it yet she thinks I’m attractive to her!

Chandler: Why?

Monica: Did girlfriend not hear wherein my head was? Come on! which we’re a team! We’re in this together!

Chandler: I fear a jury will check out it the very same way!

Monica: do this because that me! Come on, I record you looking in ~ woman’s breasts every the time!

Chandler: You check out that?

Monica: execute you check out this? (Mimics that drooling over a woman’s breasts.)

Chandler: every right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. However if it’s no your bra will you just let the mrs clean the apartment?!

Monica: correctly! Absolutely. Okay? Look, you’ll recognize it’s mine due to the fact that on the appropriate cup, the lacey part, there’s a an extremely noticeable rip.

Chandler: you need brand-new clothes.

Ross: Hi. Just how is she?

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: It’s no looking good.

Ross: (happily) Oh. (Realizes climate sadly) Oh. Well i uh, I carried her some bloemen. (Flowers in Dutch.)

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: That’s so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) would certainly you choose to come in and also say good-bye? I’m certain it would average a lot to her.

Ross: Oh i don’t know that the would.

Mrs. Verhoeven’s Daughter: Well, her storage is pretty much gone.

Ross: All best then. (Follows her in and checks the ar out.)

Phoebe: (entering) Hey!

Eric: Welcome back!

Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps top top the bed through him.) have the right to we choose up whereby we left off?

Eric: i don’t know, I’m quiet pretty worn down out native this afternoon.

Phoebe: Why?

Eric: Uh, the sex.

Phoebe: What sex?

Eric: ours sex.

Phoebe: we didn’t have actually sex.

Eric: fine if ns didn’t have sex with you, I had sex with someone the looked an horrible lot like…

Phoebe: (simultaneously together Eric) Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!

Eric: (simultaneously as Phoebe) oh no! five no! five no! oh no! No! No! No!

Phoebe: You-you…you had sex with Ursula?!

Eric: Uh, a small bit. She-she-she walked in and also I thought she was you and I kissed her and…

Phoebe: friend didn’t notice she to be wearing different clothes?!

Eric: Well i was just so excited to see you.

Phoebe: Oh. Ew! Ew! Ew! Ugh! Y’know what? This is too weird.

Eric: No-no it’s not! i don’t want to shed you! It’s-it’s favor I to be saying to Ursula once I to be making love to her and also I believed she to be you—Yeah the is as well weird.

Phoebe: So i guess this is it.

Eric: Yeah. (They hug.) maybe it’s because that the best. Girlfriend smell similar to her.

Phoebe: Yeah, so carry out you.

Brenda: (noticing him) What room you doing?

Chandler: I’m leaning. This is wherein I lean.

Brenda: Okay. (Goes over and fluffs up the pillows on the couch.

Chandler: Brenda a bee!

Brenda: What?

Chandler: yes! It’s flown right into your blouse and you’d better undo her buttons lest the sting you!

Brenda: ns think I understand what’s going on here.

Chandler: you do?

Brenda: Look, I recognize it must be hard that your wife is a lesbian, however it’s wrong. You’re married.

Chandler: I totally understand. (They both laugh.) have the right to I just watch your bra?

Rachel: Hi!

Monica: (looking in ~ Rachel’s jeans) whereby did you acquire those jeans?!

Rachel: You offered them to me!

Monica: No i didn’t!

Rachel: every right, i took them. Yet I figured it would certainly be okay since you acquired a big ink stain ~ above the crotch.

Monica: oh no! walk you take my bra too?!

Rachel: What bra?

Monica: The pink one through the flowers?!

Rachel: You mean the one that you’re wearing? (Adjusts Monica’s pink bra strap together Monica looks under her shirt.)

Brenda: (entering) i quit! (Storms off.)

Monica: Sounds about right.

Rachel: What is this?

Joey: Hey! Uh, this is simply to provide you one idea. It s okay well, we can put displays here, (In front of the crib.) so the the baby has actually privacy, and-and-and perhaps a mobile over the crib. And uh—Oh look! Here’s a baby monitor (Holds it up), which till the infant comes we have the right to use as walkie-talkies. Huh?

Rachel: You’re therefore sweet. (Notices miscellaneous in the crib.) oh my God! and you offered the infant Hugsy! (A stuffed penguin wearing a ski jacket, goggles, and also hat.)

Joey: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh…. That-that-that’s really just to display where the baby would certainly go. Y’know why don’t I host on come him so the there’s no confusion? (Takes him back, sets him on the chair, and also apologizes come him.)

Rachel: but Joey the baby is walk to be crying, it’s going to be loud.

Joey: I’m loud!

Rachel: It’s gonna be up every night!

Joey: I’m up all night!

Rachel: It’s gonna poop!

Joey: Hello!

Rachel: What around all the women you want to lug home?

Joey: Look, if I’m bringing residence a woman that can’t stand being roughly a baby, then probably I don’t desire to be through that women! Or possibly we’ll simply do it in the toilet of the club!

Rachel: Joey, room you sure?

Joey: Yeah! every right—Look, I know sometimes it’ll be hard, okay? But, it’ll additionally be really…really great. You re welcome Rachel! I-I-I really desire you to stay.

Rachel: I want me to stay too.

Joey: Ohh!

Rachel: say thanks to you. (They hug.) oh Joey and look in ~ this crib! It’s therefore cute!

Joey: ns know! I discovered it top top the street.

Rachel: room you serious—Really?! It’s in such good condition.

Joey: Yeah.

Rachel: Wow! Whoa-whoa what’s under the covers?

Joey: ns don’t know.

Rachel: It’s moving.

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Joey: Ew.

Rachel: It’s still—(Screams)—It’s got a tail! obtain it the end of here! acquire it the end of here!!

Joey: Ooh! Ah! Okay! (Quickly drags the crib outside.)

Dedicated come the memory of Pearl Harmon

Closing Credits

Ross: Well, the old lady died. And also how carry out I know? her dying wish to be for one last kiss. However I don’t care, (To Rachel) because you got the apartment. Yes!