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"I didn"t median to curse my wife to hell!"The King of the Hill quotes Page: "Texas City Twister" Click here to go back to the Main price quotes Page estimates from "Texas City Twister"Written through Cheryl HollidayDirected by Jeff MyersHANK: 6 a.m. And already the young ain"t right.FINANCE MAN: Sir, if you"re callin" me a liar, you far better be hold something stronger than one umbrella.HANK: ripe iron.FINANCE MAN: Y"all have a nice day.PEGGY: ...So lock asked me come teach German, and I claimed "nein," which ns thought intended yes. Yet it turns out, "nein" means no. For this reason I go out a huge opportunity.HANK: A guy came by indigenous the Shiney Pines trailer park, and he stated you still gained a trailer there.LUANNE: No i don"t, it tipped over.HANK: however it"s quiet there.LUANNE: No, that tipped over!HANK: Luanne, allow me shot to explain. I have a beer can. I pointer it over. Now, is it still there?LUANNE: i can"t live in a beer can. I can live in a trailer, however I don"t have actually a trailer due to the fact that the trailer tipped over!PEGGY: If they had a sponge that cleaned up damaged dreams, Woolworth"s would still be in business.DALE: girlfriend know exactly how the Egyptians un-tipped the pyramids, don"t you? with a winch, a cinder block, and also 50,000 Hebrew slaves. You acquired a cinder block?BOOMHAUER: Hey man, this is a dang ol" great deal, man, a hundred bucks a month, you gain a hook-up, you get them tube-tops jiggling approximately every method and what not, and also nothin" yet dang ol" trash, man.LUANNE: perform you think Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peg?PEGGY: get out of mine mind, Luanne.HANK: periodically you gotta prevent vomiting in the baby bird"s mouth and kick her the end of the nest.PEGGY: That"s a very clever analogy, but you know from our very own sidewalk that we room constantly raking up those tiny dried-up bird babies.LUANNE: go you know I was the first in my household to go to beauty college?PEGGY: No, i did not understand that.LUANNE: and I"m not stopping there. I have actually dreams, Aunt Peg. I want to execute hair and also makeups because that TV. I understand I"d it is in good. I believe I can be the an initial person to fix those bags under Michael Douglas"s eyes.PEGGY: Those are huge ol" dreams.LUANNE: I"m shooting for a star, Aunt Peg. And you understand what? I"ll be it s okay at Shiney Pines, "cause you deserve to see the exact same stars over that trailer the you have the right to see best here...well, at night.PEGGY: We want to gain on the road prior to that Dr. Demento starts stinking increase the airwaves.BOBBY: Goodbye, Luanne. I want you to know I never read your diary, even though you secretly suspected ns did on June 18, 1995.PEGGY: go you also happen to an alert that Luanne was crying when she left here?HANK: Well, once isn"t she crying? She cries at weddings, she cries in ~ funerals, there"s no luck or factor to it.PEGGY: Luanne loves you, and you have no feel for her at all?HANK: I"ve got plenty of emotions. I was fear she was going come hug me, i was concerned she wouldn"t leave, and also I was happy as soon as it was over.PEGGY: occasionally you do me wonder what the hell is wrong v you.HANK: Oh, really? Well, speak of hell, if ns wasn"t therefore in manage of my emotions, I"d it is in inclined come say that"s the kind of ar you should take into consideration making a visit towards!NANCY: This is not a test. Channel 84 doesn"t pat those kind of games.HANK: In instance I"m incapacitated for any reason, execute you know just how to recreation a man"s heart v a downed power line?BOBBY: No.HANK: Well, there"s yes, really no wrong method to carry out it.BILL: girlfriend know, ns don"t mental you males making fun of me on a everyday basis, but when I have actually this uniform on, I"d appreciate a small respect.HANK: You"re right, I"m sorry. Of all the military barbers ns know, you"re the bravest.DALE: set your mousse on stun, Bill!DALE: This tornado"s currently registered a level two on the Fujisaki scale. A storm that solid will send an egg with a barn door -- 2 barn doors if among them"s open.BOBBY: What will certainly a level 3 do, Mr. Gribble?DALE: Level three will send one egg with a brick wall. Tornado chasers call it "Humpty"s Revenge."BOBBY: Wow. DALE: Tornado time is favor the end of Days, Bobby. The soft shall be blasted with the hard. Chaos will certainly descend ~ above the well-organized. And the strongest of guys will become like a woman of median strength.NANCY: Nancy Hicks Gribble below for Tornado watch "97, carried to friend by Mega Lo Mart. Mention that your home was destroyed and also receive a totally free five-pound bag that onions. A collection of tornadoes has touched under in Arlen County. So far there have actually been no reports the injuries or that injury footage, however if you recognize of who who has actually been hurt or is most likely to be injured, please contact this station.LUANNE: for this reason many negative memories. There"s the fork Mama stabbed dad with...oh, and also the empty bottles native that terrible night, and...oh, no! Those mango-colored palazzo pants the made my target look big!LUANNE: There to be a the majority of fighting going on as soon as we live here. Ns guess I have that effect on people.PEGGY: "I for sure am not unfond the you, Peggy, ns tell girlfriend what." What type of marital relationship proposal is that?BOBBY: go to the Mega Lo Mart! They"ve got everything and a entirety lot more, so probably -- simply maybe -- they"ll have fruit pies!DALE: all right, twister, it"s just you and me. Ten years earlier you take it my shed -- did girlfriend think I"d simply forget? Come on, lug it on!WOMAN: I need a fuel filter! What space they for? I require one!BILL: Sorry, i must have actually a poor case the barber"s ear -- i can"t hear a word girlfriend say till you resolve me as Sergeant Dauterive.HANK: Bill, you re welcome --BILL: i CAN"T listen YOOOU!HANK: All appropriate -- Sergeant Dauterive.BILL: i don"t understand if I favor your tone, Private.HANK: What did I execute to worthy this? ns didn"t mean to curse my wife to hell!NANCY: Nancy Gribble right here for fatality Watch "97. A level 5 tornado is headed right for Shiney Pines trailer park. Shiney Pines residents, we urge you to stay calm.

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Yet if girlfriend have any type of unfinished business, or if you have actually never knowledgeable the miracle of lovemaking, now could be the time.LUANNE: You recognize what I"ll never forget, was once Uncle Hank was naked --PEGGY: That never happened.LUANNE: but the wind blew all his apparel off.HANK: no my underwear.LUANNE: Yes, the did!HANK: no my underwear.PEGGY: no his underwear. Click here to go back to the Main estimates Page